NOTE: I have spent years covering polygamy and events in the FLDS community, including the first trial of Warren Jeffs and the 2008 raid on the YFZ Ranch in Texas. You can find all of my posts on polygamy by clicking here: Category:Polygamy
There are two competing story lines to Betty Jessop, which I think are summed up in the two photos above.
1. The FLDS view (on the left) is a smiling and happy young FLDS woman who returned to her faith and family when she turned 18 and now lives a wonderful life surrounded by family and friends.
2. The worldly view (for lack of a better term) is a curiosity and sadness that this young girl had escaped a cult but chose to return to its secretive culture and give up her freedom.
Please use a permanent marker to circle your position on the computer screen. Especially if you are at work.
Hey, did I mention that I met Betty Jessop?
We were ushered into this dining room area in a home on the YFZ Ranch and met Betty. She was surrounded by (I’m guessing) her sisters and other family members. They were all a little nervous at all the attention, and there was much giggling. I don’t think too many strangers with cameras come around.
Betty laughed and was a little camera shy at first. It was the end of a long day and she hadn’t expected to have her photo taken tonight. She was hardly the first young woman to ask me to delete any “ugly” pictures. I thought she looked great. We sat down and she talked, and after thirty minutes or so it was over.
Last night I went to a local bookstore to hear Betty’s mother, Carolyn Jessop, talk about her bestselling book, Escape. As she read about Betty, Carolyn got emotional. At one point, reading about her leaving, she told of going back into the house to get her daughter and saying, “Betty, I will not leave you behind!”
During the Q&A Carolyn was asked how her kids are doing now. Speaking of Betty, she said that Betty had turned down a friend’s offer to pay for college. About Brooke’s article on the front page yesterday, FLDS Teen Disputes Mom’s Book, Carolyn said, “That’s been very painful.” Brooke’s story focused on a book that Betty has been writing about her experiences in and out of the FLDS community. Someone described it to me as “Escape From Escape.”
Carolyn said that Betty had lots of friends when she was attending public school after leaving the FLDS (in West Jordan, a suburb of Salt Lake City), and she worried that the book might destroy Betty’s relationships with those friends, further locking her into the FLDS society.
Someone asked if the FLDS members of Carolyn’s family had read the book. Carolyn said she didn’t know, that if any had they would never admit it as the book would be contraband. During our interview with Betty, she said she had read parts of her mother’s book, and expressed hurt by some of it.
Carolyn talked about how smart Betty was, and suggested that Betty would be saddened at the state of education among the FLDS. She said Betty had taken a child development class in high school, and would know sexual abuse when she saw it.
Someone said to Carolyn, “I have a hard time understanding what is pulling Betty back.” Carolyn said that Betty was a favorite of her father, that he named her his favorite name. She said Merril was very protective of Betty. If the girls got in trouble the punishment would be, “A slap to the sisters and a sucker for Betty.”
According to Carolyn, leaving the community was a big blow to Betty. In the FLDS community, she never got in trouble. She was the favored daughter of one of the most powerful men. Teachers bowed to Betty. She had the world by the tail. When she left and went to a public school, she felt alone. She missed her half brother. All the kids had a hard time without their siblings.
I think you are seeing some of the people that Betty felt alone without in these photos.
The mind control is really strong, Carolyn said. We sent her to twelve therapists; it was impossible to break through the mind control.
Carolyn said she calls and texts Betty all the time, though she wasn’t sure if it was really Betty’s number or if Betty even had access to a phone. “Once in a while I get a call,” Carolyn said.
I remembered that Betty had a phone and a camera, which you see in most of these photos.
Carolyn said that if Betty wanted to get out, she would. “I would make sure,” said Carolyn.
I have just finished reading Escape. My heart goes out to all the women in the FCLS. I can’t imagine going through all that abuse…..I hope Betty returns home to her Mother.
I think Betty went back to what she wanted. She must feel most secure within the FLDS framework. I’d like to hear the story from her perspective. I wish I had the opportunity to share the true, and only gospel of salvation with her: Through faith in Christ and his death on her behalf alone; not by works or religiosity. Betty, if you only knew how freeing the gospel is, that you can live in purity in a dark world, but be free to seek God’s will and calling on your life.
I just finished this book and I am totally alarmed by the whole cult. The things that get done in the name of God. Just crazy. I have 5 kids and can’t begin to imagine giving one of my 4 girls to a man 4 times their age. Did I hear right that jeffs was let out of jail….his sentence overturned???
Warren Jeffs is currently in a Texas jail awaiting trial there. His sentence in Utah was overturned.
I find the majority of the comments here pretty disturbing. I just finished reading Escape, and, like so many others, have been blown away by the horrible abuse described by Carolyn, and have tremendous admiration for her courage and sacrifice.
BUT… I think most people fail to see one thing: Carolyn’s experiences don’t necessarily reflect ALL experiences within FLDS. In fact, a careful reading of the book shows how different Merril Jessop was from many other FLDS men. Carolyn describes her own relationship to her father as healthy and fairly normal. And while she seems to have had a sheltered and somewhat difficult childhood, it can hardly be claimed that it was so much worse than your average American child or teen. Her severe disaffection with the lifestyle seems to have begun only after she married.
Of course, underage marriage and spousal abuse are horrible crimes. But I’m not sure it’s fair to characterize an entire community by the experiences of one (or even several) individuals.
As for Betty, I have no reason to doubt that she is genuinely happy. And for all we know, she might marry a good FLDS man, and remain hapy for the rest of her life. To doubt her sincerity is to arrogantly assume that our mainstream culture is necessarily the only kind leading to happiness. I also find it pretty ludicrous that people think nail-biting in the photos is an indication of unhappiness. If I had to guess, I would say that these girls were anxious in the presence of reporters and camera. These kids and sheltered and grow up with no movies and TV. For them NOT to be nervous would be worrisome.
buat carolyn,it is a very good job.saluuttttttt!!!
I have recently finished reading both Escape and Triumph. I believe that Carolyn Jessop truly is one of God’s angels. I just cannot understand why she has chosen to keep the surname of Jessop. ? has she not completely cut her ties with that evil ‘man’. As for her daughter Betty – I have much empathy for her.
I attended the same high school Ms. Jessop back in 2005 and was amazed by her mothers story. She was actually in one of my classes called Adult Roles and sat behind me, I also knew her older brother who sat next to me in a Science class. I needed electives and I guess at the the time this class sounded interesting. Betty was very shy and reserved as I remember, but seemed liked she agreed what was being taught and the teacher was really impressed by her. In this class we were taught about maturity as we transitioned from teenagers to adults. For the majority of the time we were taught about relationships when dating, marriage, child bearing and raising. We were also taught our responsibilities on how we treated our future spouse. We also talked how to build strong marriages through equal partnership. I wonder how often she is affected by this class now.
I know high school was rough for her but she did have some friends from what I saw. I regret one day for not standing up for her in the hall. Some dumb kid yelled pretty cruel things trying to be funny about her hair and clothes, right in front of me. She didnt deserve that, and if you ever read this Betty I am sorry for being the big dumb jock I was, and not stepping up to that punk telling him where he could go. You never deserved that, in fact I thought you were very brave for always standing up for your beliefs in a high school like ours. Her brother was cool , I got along with him in fact he graduated in my class I think. Anyways I hope she is happy, same with her bro.
just finished escape hope betty finds clarity and leads a normal lifestyle
Carolyn Jessop came to speak at a small book club gathering I attended last April in Salt Lake City. She came with her boyfriend. We had read her book “Escape”, and I was particularly interested by it. She is very thoughtful and well-spoken; her boyfriend also had a lot to say about the FLDS. Yes, other commenters above are right about her childhood seeming relatively happy – it was her arranged marriage that was toxic. The other wives of Merrill Jessop treated her horribly. I’m sure there’s all kinds of strange dynamics such as she experienced in the FLDS – how can there not be with arranged marriages and competing wives that may not like each other and don’t choose to enter a relationship with each other??
Carolyn seemed very heartbroken about Betty’s return to the FLDS. Last spring she had no idea where Betty was and had not heard from her or anything of her whereabouts for eight months. Tears came to her eyes as she spoke of Betty. She was suspicious and concerned of some type of arranged relationship – perhaps with Warren Jeffs (even though he is sitting in a jail cell). But if you think about it…what a trump card for Merrill Jessop and Warren Jeffs to take her daughter away from her completely?
I hope the best for Betty. But she is wrapped up in a situation where there is coercion and control, mind games and guilt. I hope she is smart and strong. I also hope she remembers how much her mother loves her – perhaps she will fully realize a mother’s love when she becomes one herself.
Maybe Carolyn Jessop kept her “married” name for the benefit of the children. Quite often there is a stigma attached to families with multiple names. After reading ‘Triumph’, I have been blown away by Carolyn’s bravery, honesty and desire to see justice done. I have just ordered a copy of ‘Escape’ and cant wait to read about the tribulations of living in a fundamentalist cult. For me, hero’s come in a different form.
I have just finished the book and admire Carolyn Jessop and applaud her courage and strength. I know warren jeffs was arrested but what is puzzling to me is how Merril Jessop was never charged with anything? Or how Barbra got away with her abuse. Sickening that it is still happening to this day!! How can people be so gullible as to fall for all that rubbish that the FLDS believe in!!! I understand that they are born into it…but common sense would tell you after some time that is all geared up to suit the male and his needs!!! Even though Betty turned 18yrs old and was able to decide to return to that life I can not understand why!! Best of luck to Carolyn and her children and I hope Jeffs and Merril rot in hell!!!!!!
I just read Escape. It was heart breaking that agency was replace with abuse.
My ex was looking into joining a polygamist group. It was not the FLDS. I was afraid for my teenage daughter. In this other group my daughters had their agency who to married. One daughter married an older man, after her first husband had died. He been a very good husband and son-in-law.
Just want to say there are other
polygamist group that respect agency, and true Love of God is found within the homes.
My prayers and thanks goes out to Carolyn and her family.
There are no words …when it comes to the brainwashing and abuse of the FLDS! Sadly the whole story illustrates how religion = doctrine. We see it in almost every faith known to our planet…… The true and good and holy kernel in all world faiths (as all faiths have a true and good epicentre) gets manipulated and changed to match into egotistical, power hungry individuals who want to control the masses……….and people become indoctrinated and brainwashed………..ego is man’s biggest downfall…..
Just finished the book “Escape”. Too many adjectives to mention, but it was eyeopening, and alarming. Carolyn mentioned something in the book that stuck with me and as a Christian I can relate to it. She said, ” We (meaning members of the FLDS) felt like we were better than others or people on the outside”. She talked extensively on how the members felt that if they endured the trials of life in the FLDS that they would be of a much higher standing in the afterlife than other people. I think that this is the main reason why Betty and all the others stay in the cult. They feel secure and believe that they will be rewarded in the future. On the outside Betty felt vulnerable and weak and didn’t have the kind of fighting spirit that her mom had. She had always been spoiled by her dad and wanted to return to that kind of pampering where she would feel like she was in control. One day she will wake up and find herself old, run down, undesireable, and powerless. Then she will know that she made a mistake.
Carolyn Jessop is an inspiration, this is strong women. I feel bad for her daughter Betty, and ashamed for her to give up the wonderful gift of freedom for a life of a that trash can.
I have read this book for the 2nd time and I am appalled. I live in Las Vegas Nevada and I see the boys they throw to the street and I worked by a warehouse that held their food and the women and children would come in van loads to this warehouse in Henderson the all looked like concentration camp survivors. I always wanted to run up to them and ask if they needed or wanted help but the men always looked very scary, threatening and intimidating. I WILL STILL HELP ANY FLDS WOMEN CHILDREN OR YOUNG MEN WHO NEED TO ESCAPE> I AM CLOSE TO COLORADO CITY AND HILLDALE AND I KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU> IF YOU NEED HELP TO ESCAPE CALL ME!!! I WILL COME FOR YOU AND WE WILL GET YOU A NEW LIFE WITHOUT A MAN LYING TO YOU ABOUT RELIGION SO HE CAN SLEEP WITH AND ABUSE MULTIPLE WIVES AND CHILDREN. DENISE 702-278-1920 LAS VEGAS NV> YOU FLDS WOMEN ARE NOT ALONE> WE WILL HELP YOU JUST ASK.
I really related to Carolyn’s book, Escape (was married to an abusive older man myself at 17 and left him after 8 yrs and two daughters). My girls went thru a phase in their teenage yrs where both of them were angry and abusive to me (each once slapped me across the face). I had had to move home with my own mother, who totally disrespected me as well, and took over parenting right out from under me (she had the financial resources for lessons and so forth, and I didn’t at the time). My children wouldn’t let me hug them, talk to me or even look at me. So, I started a campaign of prayer and visualization (angels over their beds at night and them bathed in white light and happiness and me kissing them on the cheek and telling them I love them). I was worried for them, after some of what they’d been through in their life, and prayed for good young men and good friends to come into their lives to make it thru high school without having problems like I did. I ultimately gave up control of the situation at the time to God, and just worked on my own stuff and healing. My prayers did come true, they both received almost full scholarships, and my baby just graduated with her Masters in Interior Architecture and got engaged to a great guy in Homeland Security. My eldest is a elementary music teacher. And, now they’re generally sweethearts and only treat me like crap when they’re pmsing! God is good. All I really ever wanted is happiness and stability for my children, so I really relate to Carolyn and hope God continues to bless each and every one of her family members on their journey forward, even those whose paths we do not understand. I truly believe and have seen in my life that all things come together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. I don’t believe he’s really exclusive – His purpose is grand, and He makes good from bad all the time. I like to look at Him like the one up in the bleachers at a soccer game, seeing everyone runnin’ around playing bunch ball with their own little devices in mind and not lookin out for their other teammates (I was a soccer mom!) He knows when the ball should be passed and who too and when we should just dribble for awhile and hold our place. We can’t see the big picture down on the field…
I was enraged by Escape and amazed not only at Carolyn’s courage, but at her intellectual accomplishment, since disbelieving one’s religion is nearly impossible under Hitleresque social conditions. Freedom of religion is not really freedom. We need freedom from it. I agree with Dawkins’ idea that religion is a form of child abuse. Of course all western religions work the same way: they tell us we must believe unreasonable and unproven tenets or else suffer in hell. Over the centuries, more reasonable philosphies have been snuffed out by book burners, witch hunters and inquisitors. Through their actions we have inherited the worst of all ideas.
i’m currently reading the book Escape and have also read another FLDS survivor’s story. UNBELIEVABLE what this cult does! I was a Jehovah’s Witnesses for many many years…. that was a piece of cake compared to this nonsense! I hope and pray all the other women wake up and get out!!!!! Poor children!
Sad story.from finland I know there are also communities of religious group lestadiolaiset they have sex abuse against children ..many fundamentalists have same kind of belief tht only they are going to heaven and the outsife world is bad.kaarina Finland Helsinki
Well like others I read Escape & Triumph as well the book by Warren Jeffs nephew “Lost Boys”. It strikes me as odd that Carolyn is 2 years older than me pretty close to my sister. I could never see my sister agreeing at 18 to a arranged marriage. I’m religous by convesion the Eastern Orthodox Church but to me religion should always be a choice. Even if someone wants to leave he/she should be FREE to leave. Yes I have seen some who didn’t stay but we remained friends. NO person should live in fear as the women, children & lost boys did or still do. Sick men(I cansay this as I am a male)who need to place women as less than equal in marriage are evil. Jeffs needs to be locked up for life for what he did to his nephews, to young girls & to all who look for hope in God. In this I can sadly understand why some are atheists. Sometimes we whom are religous are not that much of Christ. I hope the folks who have escaped are well, take care. My respect for Carolyn is immense as she left the bastards & didn’t let them win. The lost boys too need help as if men are to break cycles of abuse then they too need love & understanding as Carolyn & women deserve such.