I had this amazing idea for advancing the technology of sports photography.

1. A sensor is inserted into the ball.

2. A million times a second, a microprocessor in my camera calculates the distance from the “film plane” to the sensor and focuses accordingly.

2A. Thus, the ball is always in focus.

The photo above shows the inherent flaw in my technology.

Okay, re-write…

1. A sensor is inserted into Chivas USA defender Carey Talley’s face…

Patent applied for.